Trade shows for the year are done, as are (hopefully) business trips. Â So other than a new podcast we (“we” being myself along with the unflappable BusyMom) are trying to launch (but more on that soon), life should allow me to get back to blogging on a regular basis again. Â I hope. Â Â I don’t know if it is because I haven’t had much opportunity to blog lately or not, but I have been storing up one rant or another, and it seems like all my topics are leaning this way. Â I hoped to start out a bit more mild mannered, but decided, if I did that I might not ever get back to it… so my apologies, but here we go with rant one in the series.Over at Career and Kids, there was an interesting little bit onÂ Does Your Husband “Baby-Sit”?Â Â This is one of those things that is a sore subject for me… from a variety of angles. Â On one hand, sometimes I think this gets a bit overblown. Even in the comments, several women complained that men should not refer to it a “baby-sitting” when it comes to their own kids. Â Really more than anything, Â it is just a difference in choice of words. Â Blame it on sexist games or “being manly men” or whatever, I know dads that while every bit as happy to be with their kids as anybody else, but when they are talking to their “buddies” use phrases like “being stuck baby-sitting.” Â It has nothing to do with “expectations of their wife” or how they feel about their kids. Â Turn it around, and even if they would really prefer to be out shopping with their friends, but he is on a business trip, she would NEVER say she was “stuck baby-sitting” to her friends (even if this is how she felt), because of appearances. Â After all “what kind of mother would say that?”Yes, there are exceptions to all of these scenarios. There are fathers that treat their wives like they are slaves, and the kids are nothing but critters under foot that the wife is supposed to deal with, and keep in their place because he had a hard day at work. Â But they are exceptions, these are outdated 1950’s versions of cavemen (or Republicans). Â And these clods wouldn’t “baby-sit” anyway (at least not without a fight), so really the complaint is about bad wording. Â On the other side of this coin, do you ever wonder why some of these issues continue to come up? Â Look around, read some blogs and really pay attention to what is being said. Â Look at advertising, and even (I may have mentioned this once before), look at medias portrayals of men as parents. Â Take a look at any “parenting” magazine. Â Count how many ads you see that aren’t specifically targeted towards women (you won’t need more than one hand, and will probabaly have a finger or three to spare). Â The argument will most likely be, “but men don’t read these magazine.” Â And that is probably true, but why? Â The articles are writen to, for and about women. Â The ads are selling directly to (and exclusively to) women. Â So why would a man read it?Take in a sermon (or speech) from to biggest (or at least loudest) voices of the “moral majority” and you head how men are not men any more. Â How women are supposed to stay home to take care of the children. Â While they treat this more like the previously mentioned silly outdated theories of the men “make the money,” the other not talked about side of it, is that obviously these people don’t think (and in some cases they may be right) that these men are fully capable to be a full time parent.Â Read a few Mommy Blogs long enough and you will see how women are “amazed” at how well things went when she went on a trip, or how she doesn’t trust him to check their homework, or get them to soccer practice, and so on. Â They love their husbands (I presume), but yet they trust them with nothing, allow them to do nothing, in many cases don’t bother to tell them anything, but then don’t understand why he is disconnected with “everything going on.”My final (and admittedly a bit silly, but it is worth the point I hope to make) complaint is how father’s are portrayed in movies, media, etc. Â Funny, how so many women complain and hate “pricess” things because of all the supposed negative stereotypes (that is a whole other rant for another day), but let us look for a second at the dads. Â Cinderella’s father couldn’t raise his daughter alone, so he chose to marry (granted poorly) so that his daughter would have a proper mother. Â Staying in Cinderella you have the crazy king, insistent on getting his son married. Â “Crazy Old” Maurice trying to raise Belle. Â Bambi basically learned it all on his own out in the wild because his mother died. Â While he eventually catches on, the humor in Mr. Mom is how inept Jack is at taking care of his kids when his wife goes off to work. Â Daddy Daycare also shows that men have “no clue” how hard it is to raise children.I am a parent too. Â I care just as much, and do just as much for my daughter as my wife. Â And do so happily. Â If you don’t like the wording on how I describe it, change the stereotypes. Â Don’t make me look either “whipped” or “freaky” for wanting to do so. Â But until that changes, don’t harp on me for how I choose to describe it either*.(*Disclaimer: I haven’t ever used the phrase “baby-sitting” to describe spending time with my daughter… but I am trying to make a point).Â
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