OK, so I know I am not the only person who has had to face the following situation, so I could really use some advise on dealing with the situation.Â Â You see, up until now, I have been “fortunate” in that dealing with the death of a friend or a family member up to this point has been relatively simple.
I have my mother, and my uncle, who when confronted with death have somehow managed to beat it back and lived well beyond even many doctors expectations.Â And then on the other side, normally when dealing with death it has been a relatively short ride from “fine” to “ill” to “deceased.”Â While is may sound cruel in some ways (I did call it “fortunate” earlier), the effects on those left behind tend to be less dramatic.
I found out over the weekend that TheWife’s step father was diagnosed with lung cancer.Â But apparently this was overlooked by both himself and his doctors for so long, that not only is the lung cancer at an advanced stage, it has already metastasized to other parts of his body.Â (I have a long rant I am working on as to why I believe this happened, but I will save that for another day).
Now of course, is it possible for him to beat the odds?Â Sure, but with lung cancer, and the fact that it has already spread, it is certainly not looking good at this point, and his prognosis at this point is 6 – 9 months.
My mother-in-law had already arranged a family get together, and plans to keep it, so to me it feels like we are having a wake for the poor guy while he is still alive.Â To say, I am uncomfortable would be an understatement.
I just don’t know what to do or say with anybody in this situation.Â TheWife is still in a bit of shock, and trying to “distance herself” right now to keep her wits about her and to be able to start planning ahead.Â But I don’t know what to say to her.Â Or to my mother-in-law.Â I don’t know how much his illness is affecting his outward appearance, so I can’t even decide (thank goodness I have a bit of time to do so) what if anything I should say to LatteGirl.Â Being at a loss for words is not something I am used to suffering from, but right now, I’m stumped.